Safety Guide

Dating & Social Apps Safety

Essential safety measures for dating apps including profile privacy, first meeting safety, red flags, and background checks.

Before You Download That App

Choose Your Platform Wisely

  • Bumble: Women message first, photo verification available
  • Hinge: Designed for relationships, detailed prompts
  • The League: LinkedIn verification, professional focus
  • Tinder: Largest user base, but more safety risks

Create a Safety Email

Never use your primary email for dating apps. Create a dedicated email that:

  • • Doesn't contain your real name
  • • Uses a different password
  • • Forwards important messages to your main email
  • • Can be deleted if compromised

Building Your Safe Profile

Photos That Protect You

  • Use recent photos (within 6 months)
  • Never include your home exterior
  • Avoid workplace identifiers
  • No photos with children
  • Hide street signs & landmarks
  • Reverse image search your photos first

Bio Information Limits

Share Safely:

  • • General profession ("marketing" not "Google marketing")
  • • City, not neighborhood
  • • Interests and hobbies
  • • What you're looking for

Never Share:

  • • Last name
  • • Workplace name
  • • Frequent locations
  • • Financial status

Username Strategy

Create a unique username:

  • • Not used anywhere else
  • • No birth year
  • • No real name parts
  • • Not googleable

Test it: Google your username before using it. If anything personal comes up, choose another.

Safe Communication Phases

Phase 1: In-App Messaging (Days 1-7)

Green Flags:

  • Asks questions about your interests
  • Respects response time
  • Shares equally about themselves
  • Grammar and spelling are consistent

Red Flags:

  • Immediately asks to move off app
  • Requests personal info too soon
  • Love bombing language
  • Stories don't add up

Phase 2: Video Call Verification (Before Meeting)

Always video call before meeting in person. This helps verify identity and get a better sense of the person.

Setup:

  • • Neutral background
  • • Good lighting
  • • Test tech first

Watch For:

  • • Matches photos?
  • • Behavior changes?
  • • Refuses video?

Keep it:

  • • 15-20 minutes
  • • Daytime hours
  • • Casual chat

Phase 3: Planning the First Meet

Your Safety Protocol:

  1. 1. Choose a busy public place you know
  2. 2. Meet during daylight hours
  3. 3. Drive yourself or arrange your own transport
  4. 4. Tell a friend (use a safety app)
  5. 5. Share your live location
  6. 6. Set a check-in time
  7. 7. Have an exit strategy ready

First Date Rules:

  • Never go to their place
  • Don't let them pick you up
  • Avoid alcohol or limit to one drink
  • Don't share your address
  • No remote locations
  • Trust your gut - leave if uncomfortable

Do Your Homework: Background Checks

Free Investigation Tools

  • Google Search: "First Name" + profession + city
  • Social Media: Check Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram
  • Image Search: Reverse search their photos on Google
  • Court Records: Many counties have free online databases
  • Sex Offender Registry: NSOPW.gov (free national database)

Paid Services (If Needed)

  • BeenVerified: ~$27/month, criminal records included
  • TruthFinder: Comprehensive background checks
  • Garbo: Built for dating safety, $2.50 per search

Remember: No criminal record doesn't mean safe. Trust your instincts above all else.

Essential Safety Apps

Emergency Alert Apps

  • Noonlight: Hold button, release triggers 911
  • bSafe: Live streaming to guardians
  • Circle of 6: Quick alerts to trusted contacts

Location Sharing

  • Find My (iPhone): Share location with trusted contacts
  • Google Maps: Share trip progress in real-time
  • Life360: Family location sharing

Dating-Specific Safety

  • Tinder's Noonlight: Integrated panic button
  • Match Group's Garbo: Background check integration
  • TrueCaller: Identify unknown numbers

When to Walk Away Immediately

Profile Red Flags:

  • • Only one photo or photos look too perfect
  • • Refuses to video chat before meeting
  • • Stories change or don't add up
  • • Pushes for personal information quickly
  • • Gets angry when you set boundaries
  • • Claims to be traveling abroad constantly

In-Person Red Flags:

  • • Doesn't look like their photos
  • • Pushes alcohol or tries to change venue
  • • Gets too physical too quickly
  • • Talks about ex-partners obsessively
  • • Shows signs of aggression or control
  • • Makes you feel unsafe in ANY way

Your safety is more important than being polite. Leave immediately if you feel unsafe.

Need Immediate Help?

If you're in danger, call 911. For confidential support:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
  • RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
  • Cyber Civil Rights Initiative: 1-844-878-2274

Download This Resource

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